• Dr Graham Stevenson

How to Feel Good Whatever Your Body Image


How to heal body image issues

Many women struggle with body image issues. Perhaps you also hold a negative body image. However, even though you don’t have the body you might wish you had, you can still feel good whatever your body image. And you can make a great first impression. It’s all about perception, and that’s a matter of changing your mindset.

As sight is our dominant sense, it’s obvious that how we look is important. First impressions do count. And that is why so many people have body image issues. But really, how much of who you are is your body? It is both: you and it expresses you… the unseen part. Like the universe, there’s more to us than meets the eye. There are more stars that you can’t see than the millions that you can see.

As the pace of life has increased, we have to make decisions on less and less information. Advertising has taken over with bite-sized chunks of information designed to appeal to our emotions, and books are now judged by their covers. This applies to people, too. To be liked and possibly loved, you have to look appealing at first glance. It’s no surprise that so many women are struggling with body image issues.

Then there’s a whole industry representing ‘the latest look.’ It shows us what to wear and how to look to belong. There are fashion trends for every age group. These are often idealized, air-brushed works of art but not people.

With the growth of the internet, real life connections become less frequent with less content. The result is that the superficial becomes more important. ‘Likes’ have nothing to do with my actually liking you. And belonging to virtual groups is even more scary when you can ‘unfriend’ someone without looking them in the eyes.

As we judge every little feature of ourselves to be approved, body image issues get magnified. We feel the disgust in comments or looks that come our way and fill our hearts with shame. We are not acceptable, we don’t belong. It’s easy to take it out on the body part that causes so much offense… the nose or eyes, too fat or too thin, maybe a part that doesn’t work so well.

This is all such fickle nonsense, and yet it has such power. Belonging is a primal need. If we don’t belong, we will die. Alone and exposed. There is safety in numbers.

Our bodies are part of the unrepeatable uniqueness of who we are. We are here because a whole line of people in bodies gave life to all our ancestors going back generation upon generation. We carry a family name that reminds us of this as well one that is uniquely ours. We have a chance in our short lifetimes to fully express ourselves and enjoy what it is to be human. No body is perfect, and every body has limitations. And this is why it’s so important to heal body image issues.

I work with bodies and have found people with near perfect bodies who don’t live in them. Some are completely taken up with one slight blemish, others push their bodies like machines to achieve particular feats. Others seem to be coat-hangers for the latest fashion or vehicles for their minds to get from A to B. Body image issues are more common than you would think.

When our lives are being lived at broadband speeds, we have to do the opposite to connect with our own flesh and blood. We have to get out of our heads and slow down to the pace of our bodies’ natural rhythms. We have to take the time to build a relationship of mutual trust. It takes patience to listen to the inner wisdom of our emotions.

The reward is being able to wordlessly share the nuanced feeling of simple everyday life and live more closely in step with the nature of which we are a part. Then we will feel safe and that we belong, not just to a group but to so much more ... the world around us and beyond. And we can heal our body image issues.

I help clients to become carefree and fall in love with their bodies again through positive experiences of pleasure. If you would like to discuss how I might be able to help you with your body image issues, then call me today on 07933 709 169.